Why Chaos Makes Parenting Fun?

Why Chaos Makes Parenting Fun?

Socks on the floor, pajamas on the dressing table, The coffee mug is dried and stained and right at the foot of the bed, and finally on the queen size bed there are a pair of twins aged about 5 years of age, their exhausted mom, two books which I think they used for bedtime stories. And last the special inmate of the room- their golden Beagle!

That is not all, towels were strewn on the chair, two feeding bottles on the side table and man was this a true mess!

The Beauty of Chaos

What a view! One word for what I see here right now- is chaos. The irony of all this is that in the midst of all this untidiness, all I could admire is how the mother and her twins slept so blissfully. The kids looked like angels, with brown ruffled hair and all three were so cozy.

At that moment, all I wanted to do was to jump into bed right with them. But lol, was I being a bit childish? Oh yes, I admit I was a bit.

You must be wondering who I am and about who in the world, am I admiring about so much. Well, I was elaborating about the room in which my elder sister slept along with her kids. I and my mom had come over to visit her over the weekend and see if we could help her. And, this the scene that I just described above was – what I saw early morning- when I entered her room.

Both me and sister are 2 years apart and she got married to her heartthrob right after her graduation. They were very happy and wanted kids quickly. So they were blessed with just not one, but two gorgeous kids!

Oh boy, I always loved kids, but when got a first-hand experience of raising them- I tell you- parenting can really test your patience level!

And a pair of twins, the scene is all the merrier. When one cries, the one also has to follow in. When it is feeding time, there is a wild race to get more of Mama’s fresh milk! If it is play time, I don’t understand why but- they both they need to use the same toy!

Both are attention seekers, both need everything at the same time, even up to the fact that they almost go to the potty around the same time. I pity my dear sis!

The Memory Lane

I still remember the day we went to visit my sis after she had given birth. She did suffer a lot, and tiny tots were fine. She was crying, happy, excited and also nervous about handling two of them simultaneously.

One yells and the other one follows it. She was exhausted and often I and my mom took turns to go in and help her. Of course, her hubby did help, but he had his limits. Plus, my sis was peculiar as she never liked the way he arranged clothes or washed dishes, and she had to do all the work over again.

So finally he stopped indoor chores, and then stuck to his outdoor chores like mowing, going grocery shopping and so on.

Obvious her workload increased and that is when I or my mother would pitch in on the weekends. I do know our help would not be much, but still felt it was better than nothing at all. We used to help with the laundry and stocked up food in the freezer so that her work would get reduced.

Managing her twins was entirely her section, but yeah, I used to play with them whenever it was possible.

How Parenting Changed Her

Now, this is what I wanted to share with you. I have been seen my sis from the time I was born. She was more systematic, ambitious, vigilant, stern, and studious than me. Of course, those traits were the stepping stones for education and it did help her in her job as well.

She hated:

Noise

Untidy Ambiance

Cluttered Rooms

Pending Works

Filth

If these things came her way, she would just scorn and say ‘Eew’! Her room would be radiant with cleanliness, whereas my room would be like a warehouse and you could get lost in it!

I know what you must be thinking. Yeah true, look at her life now!

The first one year after the babies were born, it was a horror for her in all senses. The baby wails, the sleepless nights, the soggy dresses, the frequent napkin change, the feeding time, baby tantrums, fever, vomiting episodes, and to top it all – the house was very untidy.

She used to cry, get depressed and even fight with all of us. She just couldn’t take it. Once the kids were about 1.5 years old, she had lost weight and I could hardly see a smile on her face. I knew I had to do something.

I started talking to a doc who explained that some women can suffer from depression after having their child. But in my sister’s case, she could not handle this huge change in her life. Now there was complete chaos and that was a No- No for her.

Accepting Chaos

I encouraged her to mingle with moms who had tiny tots, and especially ones with twins. Once she began talking and understanding that she was not alone in this motherhood phase, she felt much better.

Of course, it took a period of one year, and slowly she adjusted to the fact that a bit of chaos was fine in life.

Few things that all of us learned were:

• Life is not always perfect. But we can turn each imperfect moment into a nice one.
• All things in life have their flaws, and we do need to pass by them patiently.
• An untidy room can be made tidy at any moment, but the mental peace that gets destroyed (In the case of my sis) cannot be. So, relax and tidy at your own pace.
• When a parent reacts angrily to such small matters in life, this is what children see and that could affect their thoughts, love, and relationship with their parent. So, be calm and do not overreact.
• Children learn more from your actions than words, so be careful about how you behave as an adult.
• Most of all, accept the change and see the beauty in whatever happens in life. It is then that we can face challenges in a better manner.

Today, my sister is a much happier mom and so that reflects on her health, her looks and also the way she brings up her kids. Her messy self is such a pleasure to watch. And trust me, she has one set of adorable twins who have proved that Chaos can be so much fun!

Do share your experiences, as we all may handle the same problem in a different manner.